Cannabis consumers partake in weed for a myriad of reasons, including medicinal, to ease the body’s aches, pains, and anxiety, or recreational, to spark creativity. The research is out on how cannabis specifically impacts our creative thoughts and work, but pretty much all consumers recognize that a good high can produce a flood of new ideas, thoughts, and — most of all — questions. All kinds of questions.
Some of those questions may be existential in the vein of “what is the meaning of life?” Others may wander to the bizarre, “If a tomato is a fruit, then isn’t ketchup a smoothie?” There are whole communities on Reddit dedicated to chatting with people who contemplate both the smell of their feet and the origins of the Big Bang in the same sesh. Over on Twitter, both hashtags #HighQuestions and #StonerThoughts show the same kinds of musings.
These questions are as sundry as you might think — maybe you’re thinking of one right now — though they do tend to fall into three basic categories. Here are some of the most compelling, funny, and groan-inducing high questions floating around on the internet.
You’ll want to spark up a fresh bowl of cerebral cannabis, like White Widow or LSD, before diving deep into these 13 compelling and thoughtful questions:
- Can you daydream at night?
- If you’re in a competition by yourself, do you come in first or last?
- If life is unfair to everyone, does that mean life is actually fair?
- Which came first, the plant or the seed?
- If actions speak louder than words, is speaking also an action?
- Does being “up” for something mean the same thing as being “down” for something?
- What time is it not?
- If you try to fail, but end up succeeding, which did you actually do?
- Who created God?
- What’s the highest thing you’ve ever done?
- Is getting high and remembering something from your past simply time travel?
- What if scientists, philosophers, and researchers were high when they made their most important and noteworthy discoveries?
- Who was the first person that saw cannabis and decided to smoke it?
Reach for some giggle-inducing Durban Poison or Mango Kush before laughing til your cheeks hurt with these 14 amusing questions:
- If you smoke weed on a boat, does that make it seaweed?
- If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty?
- If you get scared half to death twice, do you die?
- Is the “s” or the “c” silent in “scent”?
- If money is the root of all evil, why do they ask for it in church?
- If you clean a vacuum, do you become a vacuum cleaner?
- Who closes the bus door after the bus driver gets off?
- If they use crash test dummies to test things, how do they test crash test dummies?
- If oranges are orange, why are limes not called “greens”?
- What does water taste like?
- Can dogs get a song stuck in their head?
- Have you ever calmed someone down by saying “calm down?”
- If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?
- Who taught the first teacher?
Load up your favorite bong with a bit of Gelato before pulling out your best dad jokes with these 14 groan-inducing questions:
- Why don’t ribbed condoms taste like ribs?
- What if every time we eat an apple, we’re eating a tree baby?
- Is a gingerbread man made of house, or is his house made of flesh?
- If an ice cube melts, is it floating in a pool of its own blood?
- What do teeth taste like? Do everyone’s teeth taste differently?
- If someone dies in a living room, is it still a living room?
- If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered a beef?
- If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still a dog pile?
- Why is it called a building when it’s already built?
- How many people have stepped on the sidewalk I walk on every day?
- If I hit myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
- Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?
- Is there a synonym for “synonym”?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
We do know from research that cannabis can distort our sense of time, making it seem like it moves more slowly. Cannabis can also disrupt short-term memory and alter our sense of perception. So a question that seems very urgent and worthy of contemplation during one sesh might not even enter your mind the next time around.
If you haven’t yet answered the most mysterious questions of the universe while high, no worries. There are always new thoughts to examine.
Featured image by Gina Coleman/Weedmaps
Erin Hiatt came to writing about cannabis, hemp, and psychedelics after a career as an actor and dancer. Her work has appeared in Vice, Civilized, MERRY JANE, Hemp Connoisseur Magazine, Marijuana Goes Mainstream, Doubleblind, and others.